Tony Blair rocks out.

• George Bush and Tony Blair sing 'Endless Love'

The Crotch-Grabbing of Fate

In, what can only be described as a twist, a pirouette and a crotch-grabbing of fate, singer Michael Jackson today received a jury summons at his Neverland Valley Ranch in California – four months after he was acquitted on child molestation charges.

If anybody remembers the trouble lawyers had in finding a jury of his peers (although I think two-thirds female, and mostly white was about right), imagine the fun they’ll have with Jackson in the jury box. Although by the sounds of it, he could do with the $15 a day.

On his recent trip to London the singer spent only £85,000 in 30-minutes at Harrods. Looks like someone’s tightening the belt...

Kill the light, Save a Bird

Michael Jackson: The Monster that Lurks Among Us

The three month trial that ended this week with the acquittal of Michael Jackson was the ultimate assassination-of-character attempt on the one time King of Pop. And as he emerged for the final time from the Santa Maria courthouse Monday he was a free, albeit shadow of a man, hobbling to his SUV, barely managing to raise a hand to acknowledge his fans, many of whom recognise him now only as a zombie from his Thriller music video.

He appeared the relic of a human being, whom once, to quote Sir Bob Geldof, sang “with the voice of angels. And when his feet move, you can see God dancing.” His fall from grace was neatly packaged for network television and we gawped and gazed, not at the mastery of his art, but at the curiosity of his demise. From master to monstrosity, Michael Jackson is, at best, a freak.

But Michael Jackson is us.

Since he was a child, he has had the tragic misfortune of having been cast as a lightning rod for our cultural diseases: racism, homophobia, gender confusion, celebrity obsession, sexual obsession, materialism, beauty obsession, paedophilia, security obsession. The bomb that loomed over Jackson’s head over the last few months can not be underestimated.

And it took 12 sensible-minded men and women seven days to defuse it.

We can see the way American culture has deteriorated to a society at war with itself – eager to demonize, unable to heal – in the tragic deterioration of Jackson's face and form. The crossover King of the 1980s, who offered a true promise, to quote Funkadelic, of “one nation under a groove,” left the courthouse on Monday to a more divided America.

The ugly ordeal of the past few months revealed a monster that lurks among us. Only it turns out the monster was not the freak.

It was the assassin.

The Michael Jackson Porn Collection

"You need to write in your blog," she said. "That's what you need to do." And it was those words, from an estranged, and indeed, strange friend over the Atlantic that tonight compels me write. I had called her in the post-Celebrity Big Brother buzz when, after watching such C-list luminaries as Channel 4 racing tipster, John McCririck and former Mrs Rocky, Brigitte Nielson, I felt a sudden need to exercise what was left of my A-grade personality before the Tube sucked away the remainder. Unfortunately, first choice recipient - and one of few friends my own age - was otherwise engaged - and so it is with you, lucky runner-up, that I share my thoughts this evening.

You, dear reader, round off my otherwise 'square of friends', into a perfect circle. My social life, you see, tends to coincide with university holidays when student types - all hair and no money - are back in town for their jollies. December therefore was a particularly busy month. Now, somewhere a fat lady has sung, the window of goodwill between Christmas and New Years has swung shut, and students are back to the all work/no play drudgery of University life. In their absence I prowl the Internet message boards, looking for the human connection suddenly withdrawn from my life.

I never find it. But I did return to a message board that I'd come across in researching an earlier post that quietly exudes a peaceful sense of community amongst its 1000+ members. They're all committed to their cause, passionate about their subject and abide by the simple rules of their community: never say "Wacko Jacko." They are the members of the Michael Jackson Discussion Board and eagerly debate (though admittedly only one side of) the King of Pop's upcoming trial. They've gathered an archive of 500+ and surprisingly balanced articles on the subject and it is a minor detail from a major document that I'd like to share with you.

The Smoking Gun, God knows how they do it, have got their hands on some sealed documents from the case against Michael Jackson. They have, of course, unsealed them and put them online. It turns out that hell-bent District Attorney, Tom Sneddon, so busy with actual cases against actual criminals, had no time to write a new document and instead copied and pasted entire paragraphs from a 1993 case against Jackson that, although settled out of court, is worth noting, two Grand Juries failed to indict.

However, what's new ten years later is the discovery of - shock horror - pornography under Jackson's bed. A couple of items don't count, in my estimation, as porn, though they appear on the police inventory as such. The first, the dubious sounding, "Chop Suey Club" is described in Sneddon's document as containing "photos of nude young boys." While it may sound to the uninitiated like some Asian rough trade volume, the book is actually by famed fashion photographer Bruce Weber and available on Amazon. (Check it out.)

The second, "Poo-Chi," detectives wrote, contained "photographs of female groin area." Officers, they only look like the female groin area! The volume is the, um, inventive work of Mayumi Lake, who photographs underarms and knees to create the illusion that you are looking at a woman's nether region. Very funny, Mr Jackson. Though we didn't expect you to have a sense of humour.

Funnier still and perhaps more unexpected is the actual porn discovered in Jackson's bedroom and the thought with which I'd like to leave you agiggling tonight. Amongst such mainstays as Swank, Club, and Couples was a Director's Cut DVD of the Hustler produced documentary, 'Pimp's Up, Ho's Down.'

And if you're surprised by Jackson's taste, consider the black fedora, the single white glove and the sequined socks and it all begins to make sense. Cha'mone!

A Ham Sandwich

Argh! Michael Jackson is driving me crazy! And not like in the Eighties when he rocked the suburbs with his infectious grooves, driving a rainbow hued generation Off the Wall and moonwalking to the discothèques. This time, twenty years from Thriller, his latest record might be criminal, as he faces ten charges of child molestation, abduction and conspiracy, as read to him yesterday at his arraignment in Santa Maria, California.

He is again everywhere, and the sensational coverage of this case, although not yet a trial but already that of the century, has driven me to use my blog as an occasional alternative news outlet and since, as I’ve just seen, CNN enlist an expert panel of entertainment moguls, television presenters and Loyola State University law professors, I might offer my ‘expertise’.

CNN’s expert panel spoke with an assumption of Jackson’s guilt and yet dedicated a segment of the show to defending his prosecutor, District Attorney Tom Sneddon against charges of unfair practice, even advising that we not judge the D.A., as he has been unfairly represented by the media and Jackson’s interchangeable lawyers. Well, the King of Pop has hardly been treated like royalty by CNN and other such news outlets.

I have to go, but before I do I just want to remind you – because CNN won’t – that Jackson, or anybody facing trial, should be presumed innocent until proven guilty and that an indictment is just a formal accusation arising from a Grand Jury, having been presented evidence by the prosecutor only. There is a saying, ‘you can indict a ham sandwich,’ but I would still advise that you presume its innocence.

HIStory Continues

Hey, just a quick post to update you on the Michael Jackson story. I wrote the following a few days ago as a comment to the previous post regarding those allegations but thought I'd bring it here to the fore, as rarely do people read replies to entries:

"Of course, Michael Jackson should be presumed innocent, but the legal eagles and other such ‘beacons’ of justice involved in this case should not be presumed guilty of orchestrating a conspiracy against Jackson and his right to a fair trial. Sadly, in a week in which a new allegation of child abuse against Jackson has been reported by the media I suspect this is the case.

"The reported incident took place in L.A. twenty years ago and if, as CNN reported, the alleged victim is now eighteen years old, Jackson may be guilty of molesting an unborn child. These new complaints were brought to the police by the familiar team of lawyer Gloria Alred, professional critic of Jackson’s lifestyle, currently working the daytime TV circuit, and Carole Lieberman, the same Beverly Hills psychiatric who filed last year’s allegations and counselled the new alleged victim, helping him recover repressed memories of the assault. It’s a small world, but one in which surprisingly the numbers work in Jackson’s favour. According to a study conducted by the National Crimes Against Children Laboratory, only one in three accusations of child abuse leads to indictment. And incidentally, when this new claim involving Jackson was uncovered by the LAPD as a hoax it was reported with far less zeal.

"The claim’s dismissal could have gone unnoticed altogether, leaving a potential jury pool thinking that third strike means out for Jackson – guilty by association right? Where there’s smoke there’s fire? Not quite. The allegation and its timing suggest that Jackson is an open-season target for those with a get-rich-quick-scheme in mind. After all, he still represents deep pockets. Oh, and while all this was going on, did something happen in Iraq?"

And this just in: The sordid details of the actual charges were leaked to ABC News today, most probably by Jackson's prosecutor, Santa Barbara DA Tom Sneddon, whose case against the singer suffered a blow yesterday when it was reported that the boy's testimony was 'shaky' and 'inconsistent'.

The coincidental leakage of a child psychologist report in all its horrid, tabloid worthy detail and the graphic images it conjures (just imagine Michael Jackson naked sans make-up) will inevitably taint the jury pool if the case goes to court. We must remember of course, while the media might forget, that these details allegedly took place, and that word is very important. Too often the boy is referred to in the media as "the victim" rather than "the alleged victim." And very few media outlets are commenting on the statement in the report in which the psychologist told the alleged victim that he could get money if he won a lawsuit against Michael Jackson. And so the story continues...watch this space.

While you do that why not use your other eye to read this rather brilliant editorial from the anti-corporate, politically aware arts magazine, popCULTmedia, The Slow Murder of Michael Jackson: Fear and the Sexiness of the Undead?

The Father Michael Jackson Paid Off

Since being home from University for Spring Break television has sadly been some of the best company I’ve had, and for the most part the stimulus for my blog musings. Tonight’s entry is no exception, as last night’s viewing compels me to write on an issue I have thus far refrained from discussing, and that is the child molestation case against Michael Jackson.

Child Sex Sells

It is an issue that last night the BBC raised with the usual sensationalism that surrounds child sex hysteria that, like regular sex before it, is selling like hot cakes and is sure to draw in the crowds. Throw in arguably the world’s most famous most living man and you’ve got yourself a ratings winner. But like most products boasting appeal but lacking substance (think luxury items – chocolates, perfumes, Schwarzenegger movies) the pointedly titled The Boy Michael Jackson Paid Off was exquisitely packaged with deftly edited archive footage, a remixed Jacko soundtrack and (thankfully tasteful) dramatic reconstructions, but ultimately lacking the hard facts to make the tagline, “Is Michael Jackson a lost child or a paedophilic man?” a real conundrum.

The documentary come crime saga come music video dealt with the first of two allegations concerning child sex abuse and Michael Jackson, its recurrence perhaps the only reasoning for serious trial for both prosecutors’ –the Santa Barbara District Attorney trying Jackson and the salacious media prematurely hanging him. Otherwise it told a story that not only seemingly exonerated Michael Jackson but proved him a twice victim of extortion – the scams of this and the last century. You might be forgiven for believing he was guilty of these charges, considering the erroneous media coverage, but you’d be wrong.

From the Dentist’s Chair

Michael Jackson may in fact be guilty of poor judgement, having made himself vulnerable to such charges by not addressing his penchant for the bedtime company of small children since the 1993 allegations, but he is no paedophile. Those allegations, and the subject of the BBC programme, sprung from a sum of child custody, Hollywood aspiration and dodgy dentistry and went public when a private settlement with Jackson was not reached. That original settlement of a movie deal was solicited by dentist and aspiring script writer, Evan Chandler, the estranged biological father privately accusing Michael Jackson of molesting his son, Jordan. When that deal was not met the accusations went public, and as Evan Chandler had promised in a secretly taped telephone conversation, “I will get everything I want, and they will be destroyed forever. June [the mother] will lose custody of the boy and Michael’s career will be over.” When Dave Shwartz, Jordan’s stepfather and the other half of that conversation asked how his plan might help the boy, Evan replied, “That’s irrelevant to me.”

Although ‘the boy’ admitted to sharing a bed with Jackson he had never himself accused the star of any sexual misconduct. That was until Evan performed dental work on his son, during which he decided to intravenously administer sodium Amytal, a psychiatric drug unusual in baby-tooth extraction but known to provide false memories. Evan then took Jordan to a child psychiatrist who was required to file a report with the authorities, a criminal investigation began and the media had something of a field day.

HIStory Repeating

The first case of child sex abuse involving Jordan Chandler, hence the title of the documentary, was settled out of court when it became clear to Jackson and his lawyers that justice might not prevail, not without an agonising ordeal. The LAPD had invested millions of dollars in their investigation, interviewing scores of children all over the world, not one of whom accused Jackson of any wrongdoing, despite the zealous and maverick techniques of detectives: they told interviewees that other children had admitted to it when they had not. A humiliating strip search was then issued on Michael Jackson and photographs were taken of his body but they did not match the description Jordan had given. And although a plethora of ‘witnesses’ had appeared before the court of public opinion, on television and in the press, none agreed to testify against Jackson and when Evan accepted the out of court settlement the LAPD reluctantly announced that no criminal charges would be brought against Michael Jackson citing a lack of evidence.

Despite being investigated by the Department of Children’s Services and dropped, the same district attorney from the 1993 case Tom Sneddon jumped at the chance to pursue claims that arose after the Martin Bashir documentary, Living with Michael Jackson was aired in February last year. In his final year of service before retirement Sneddon, having been ridiculed by Jackson in a 1995 song that accused him of “brothering with the KKK”, could not contain his excitement at an initial press conference where he jokingly encouraged the media attention that might improve California’s failing economy. The excitement wore off when Sneddon twice asked the presiding Superior Court judge Clifford Anderson for more time to gather evidence.

This time however Michael Jackson is going to court. But when you consider the history of the previous case, for which Evan Chandler actually hopes to sell the movie rights, and the history of the current accuser, who has twice previously claimed that her son has been abused to receive out-of-court settlements, we might wonder why the media is seriously asking if Michael Jackson is a paedophile. He might be an idiot most of the time but he is not as Bad or as Dangerous as his album titles would have us believe. And I certainly hope he is not HIStory.

Progress?

When we were last here I proclaimed the car "the ultimate symbol of freedom", and while that might be true for us in a capatalist society where car salesman is king (I'm referring to the Car King showroom in town), freedom holds a different meaning for the people of Ghana, focus of a BBC 4 documentary playing in the background as I write this.

It was from Ghana, a former British colony, that the Atlantic slave trade began; the selling of men and women to European plantation colonies in North America became an enterprise, and a new nation became the capital of the "free world." It was also Ghana that in 1957 became the first state in sub-Sahara Africa to gain political independence from European colonial rule. Despite being well endowed with natural resources, Ghana remains heavily dependent on the West for financial and technical assistance. A dependence that a talking head from aforementioned documentary understands to be a new form of slavery: "We now lean on the western world," he said. "If they don't bring you your food, your vehicle, you're in that same position...you hear ol' massa's voice."

We don't have to worry about food; most of us at least have access to a vehicle. Our leaders have set their sights beyond such issues, beyond the clouds even. The BBC 4 documentary was not so much about Ghana's national history - I got most of that from Encarta. It was about an issue affecting an inordinate number of Ghanians. It was investigating the affects of the Apollo 6 space shuttle landing in the country. "It seemed that American progress," the talking head continued, "was a disease for the people of Ghana."