And this is what happens when you read the Daily Mail.

In the wake of the Big Brother racism row, distressed viewers are returning to a sense of normality and to discussing topics more typical of a reality TV show.

For the past week however the most distressed of viewers have been on the receiving end of the following arguments, surprised by the opinions of colleagues and co-workers, alarmed by their naiveté.

I do hope that these do not represent the views of most British people, but these are some of the arguments I actually heard last week.

• "I'm sick of white people being sidelined."
  Yeah, I suppose Black History Month is a bit much, isn't it? Really cuts into White History Year.
• "It's political correctness gone mad."
  I'm sorry, do you long for the time when we could tell one another to "f*** off back home"?
• "Oh, but it's okay for Jermaine to call Jackie 'white trash'?"
  No, Jermaine is not granted some sort of immunity from being racist on account of his being black. What he actually said was, "...they brought up the word 'white trash', and I don't want to bring that up. I wouldn't call her that, because she's a human being..."
• "But Jade can't be racist. She's mixed race."
  There's nothing in Jade's genetic make-up that excludes her from being racist. After all, I'm 100% me, and I hate myself a little bit.
• "I'm sick of people playing the race card."
  FYI: we don't like to, us darkies. If we gave you one you'd realise it's not that good a thing to have.

Death of a celebrity

In the eastern Indian city of Patna protesters are burning an effigy that is said to resemble the organisers of Channel 4's reality TV show, Celebrity Big Brother. It looks very much to me like a standard, two plank wooden frame, cloaked in a burning white salwar kameez. Now, I've met John de Mol, co-founder of Endemol, the production company behind the Big Brother franchise, and he is definitely a jeans/sports jacket kind of guy.

Some four thousand miles west and Patna's favourite Bollywood actress, Shilpa Shetty, sits under the surveillance of de Mol's creation - the Big Brother house - caught by the lens of 36 surveillance cameras and the attention of the world's media.

Shetty, 31, is the unwitting subject of a racism row. Her treatment by fellow housemates has generated a record 30,000 viewer complaints and has sparked a national debate on bullying, class and race.

Whether you think her tormentors are racist or not, Shetty has been on the receiving end of some sort of sinister bigotry. And its origins, whether in cultural ignorance, jealousy or arrogance, is a story that needs to be talked about: it is the story of racism in this country.

The name calling, the back stabbing, the bitching, is not unusual in a television show of this nature. But it has become a vehicle for an issue that is as uncomfortable to discuss as the show is to watch.

Does Big Brother reflect society? And if so, are we a racist nation?

Shetty's biggest opponent in the Big Brother house is former contestant Jade Goody, who left series three in 2002, nominated by the public, denounced by the British tabloid press and met with a crowd of booing protesters. Since, she has returned to television, relauched her career and amassed a not inconsiderable fortune.

It's interesting, as a subplot to this series of Big Brother, that we may be witnessing a turning of the tide against the post-Heat notion of celebrity; that we are fed up with what is being celebrated; that it is no longer intelligence, artistry and achievement.

It is predicted that Jade will be the next contestant to leave the Big Brother house. When she does I suspect she will be met with another booing crowd, and that we may see another burning effigy.

Apple: "We need to talk."

Probably the best thing I've ever seen.

• Apple iPhone

This Life +10: Snap, crackle, flop.

I skipped out of the Maidstone Community Centre New Year's Eve party before midnight this year (God knows why) and missed out on all the fireworks. Luckily for me, and viewers of 'This Life +10', there were a few bags of explosives on last night's telly. And a reminder that, amongst 'Celebrity This' and 'Reality That', there is still some British TV worth staying in for, even if it's a one-off Christmas special - and I use the word 'special' quite liberally.

'This Life +10' caught up with Miles, Anna, Milly, Egg and Warren of the original BBC drama, which ended in 1997 with a bang (actually, more of a wallop) after 32 episodes and a lot of shagging, swearing and snorting. Last night's reunion however ended on a much quieter note. There were fireworks, sure, but they were lit carefully, as if according to health and safety procedures: proof that people - like old fireworks - get duller with age.

Egg is somehow a literary sensation; Milly a mum; Warren is into life coaching; and Miles is a mega-rich hotels entrepreneur, hosting the former lawyers at his huge country pile. Anna still practices, and is the only character not completely mutated by time. She's still got attitude, balls (not literally) and those great legs. She didn't however have the best line. That honour went to Warren ( "Well really, I mean, arguing about the war...is so last season"). What she did have was a baby complex and exactly what was wrong with 'This Life +10'.

The original series was the twenties we had or wished we'd had (I'm still wondering if mine will come, as I struggle to stay awake at 9:30pm). They shagged, they swore, they swayed to...Suede. They were of their time. And now, while they don't swear any less, they discuss babies and bankruptcy and what exactly a "Kaiser Chief" is. And I wonder if it might have been best if they'd just stayed away and, like Suede and...shagging (I remember that), remained warm in the memory.

'This Life +10' arrived on our screens between two bastions of reality TV: 'I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here' and 'Celebrity Big Brother', where fireworks mark the entrance and exit of its c-list contestants. Last night however, 'This Life +10' snapped, it crackled, but it flopped. I only hope that this so-called special, like the lingering smoke of a disappointing backyard firework display, doesn't cloud the memory of a groundbreaking show.

Happy New Year and that.

I figured I'd be excused for my lack of Christmas spirit this year on account of my Hinduism, which - as you know - seems to come and go. In any case, I apologise for a quiet couple of weeks. And, while I'm late in wishing you a Merry Christmas, Hinduism is really no excuse (even if the calendar itself is Judo-centric) - and so I wish you all a very Happy New Year and all the best for 2007.