Oh, ITV. Is it not enough that you bombard us with bollocks programming every day? Were you not satisfied with your 50th Anniversary celebrations, reliving each year in what felt like real-time? Are you not filled with content when you produce yet another detective series with a maverick lead character? Why then, you gaudy yellow and blue thing, must you now interfere with my love life?
Okay, perhaps love life is a bit much. But when, last night, Lucia– a talented and charming, not to mention, gorgeous looking artist – wrote to alert me to her upcoming TV appearance I was, at first, hesitant. “I didn’t imagine that I’d see you next on ITV,” I wrote in my response. “Though you realise I’ll have to break my ‘no ITV’ rule to catch your show.”
And so I broke my rule. But not wanting to break the one that keeps me in the office, 9am-5pm, I programmed her lovingly into my PVR guide and returned home this evening, excited to be seeing her again, albeit on ITV. Imagine my disappointment then when I didn’t see Lucia on my screen, but instead an error message saying, that “the guide encountered a problem trying to download listings for this channel.”
The error message gave way to an e-mail alert. It was Lucia. “Hey, cheers for taking an interest in the programme!” she wrote. “I’d be interested to know what you think.”
I didn’t know what to think. The programme had not recorded. And so, what could have been a great opportunity to connect with Lucia on a personal level instead became another reason to hate ITV.
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