Dumped.com

Since failing to meet the requirements that secure my money back guarantee, not to mention being stood up and having thrown up, my match.com subscription had finally rendered itself useless, usurped finally by MySpace and that other playground of romance, the real world, in which I had recently found some success.

Suzie, affectionately referred to in a previous post as “the one that came along,” had been coming along rather well, for want of a better word. That is, we’d been seeing each other for a few weeks. Anything beyond a few dates is somewhat miraculous for me, having dated women with children, ex-husbands and mental illnesses. (A background check revealed no history of these things.)

Excited by this and, hedging my bets somewhat, I made my last move on Match.com to, remarkably, decline a date with a not unattractive young lady. “I’m sorry,” I wrote. “I met someone.” Imagine my surprise then when that someone uses the same online service to send me a virtual wink (see Can’t buy me love) and essentially invites me to view her own match.com profile.

“22-year-old woman,” it began, “seeking women 18-35.”

Now, we’ve not yet had that talk about our “relationship”, whether indeed there is one, and whether, of course, we are seeing other people. By sending me a virtual wink via match.com, Suzie answered some of those questions, sure, but raised others too. Let’s start with what we do know. We are, I guess, seeing other people. In fact, we’re actively seeking other people. We are actively seeking homosexual relationships.

By alerting me to her match.com profile is Suzie suggesting that I am a) “women aged 18-35”, or b) dumped, ceremoniously, with a wink and a new agenda or, rather, a new gender?