Fear not, loyal readers, your hero to zero has not found love in his absence. I am sorry for not having written sooner but, rest assured, my adventures on Match.com have resulted in nothing more romantic than a couple of e-mails and a costly credit card bill.
I am glad however that things are working out for my readers. Sian, 40 from Shrewsbury, joined Match.com as local_minger on the strength of my recent posts. “I've got fleas, large facial warts and all manner of infectious diseases... but a great personality!” says Sian on her online profile, which, despite it’s raw honesty, has led to over 200 viewings, scores of e-mails and a couple of dates.
Divide those figures by four and we’re closer to the sort of statistics my online profile is enjoying. Despite my “virtual winking”, even e-mailing a few girls, I have as of yet been unable to score a single date. But before my winking develops into a nervous tick, I’m not going to worry. I like to think that I have a very slow release charm.
It has actually been oozing rather gently over a long conversation with ChicClimber, a 26 year-old junior doctor, with whom I share a love of Belle and Sebestian and Ben Folds. After a couple of inappropriate jokes regarding incest and espionage I guess the slow release charm slowly retracted and ChicClimber went rather quiet. Either that or she found my blog.
If that is indeed the case, Amie, I do apologise and hope you might get back in touch. It’s customary that a girl dates me at least once before breaking up with me. This way is so premature. I know it’s hard to break up in person but it’s much easier to date that way.
13 comments:
Oh San, you'd almost tempted me to follow in your footsteps, but now I'm not so sure...
ah san,
after all we talked about you still put in an annoying belle & sebastian and ben folds name check.
it's things like this . . .
Pete
if you'd like to add a few more indie rock bands to the list of band names you drop on this match thing, or if you'd just like to add a few more ryan adams-esque bands to your repertoire, may i suggest wilco and the old 97s. i've been listening to them for a little while, but am now starting to hear about them from super-hip, slightly undergroud sources. try james alley blues and late greats by wilco, and curtain calls, question and barrier reef from the old 97s (who got their name from a johnny cash song).
Oh dear...I sense Pete won't like this. Pete won't like this at all.
In my defense, any band name dropping was in response to her comments.
But Mandy, what's your excuse? Honestly.
My tip: Check out Sonic Death Monkey.
you're right san. i don't like it at all, not at all. How the hell are Wilco a tip they've been around for 10 years. I've got a tip for you Mandy - The Beatles. They're a small band from Liverpool that used to be quite popular in the 60s. Check out their cult classic 'sgt pepper's lonely hearts club band'!
first of all, is this pete.com? i didn't think so. second, merely recommending a band doesn't mean it has to be new. i just started listening to them, and i thought my friends might like them. not too many people here are listening to them yet, so yes, they are sort of new to some. but the next time i want to make a suggestion to a friend, share something i enjoy, you know, do something NICE (which i'm beginning to think is not in the british capacity to do or say), i'll keep it to myself for fear of reprimand from the apparent expert on american folk music. kisses. mandy
get bent
don't worry, the next time pete wants to say something i'm sure he'll keep it to himself for fear of reprimand from the apparent expert on British behaviour.
Thanks for proving my point you assholes.
Yeah, ok, sorry. I'm the asshole. You're right and I'm full of myself. I'll look up that band - the Beatles you say? From Liverpool? That WAS kind of you, come to think of it. I do apologize for saying British people are mean. You've all really proven me wrong and shown such temperance and kindness, not to mention grace. I will immediately commence getting bent as Pete suggested, and I do so apologize to Sarah for acting like an apparent expert on anything.
don't bother with the beatles. try green day's 'american idiot'.
we have lost sight of the real issue here: san paid for a dating service.
focus people.
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